The Lost Nudist

This is the true story of the lost nudist! Its long but it is worth the reading time!

Alex Tarr was a man once. He had everything going for him. His life, his jujitsu, his girlfriend, his boyfriends, and even his hair was going for him. Alex and i (bobby) were the original creators/members of the Nudist Colony. It all started back in high school with the making of a sign. But not just any sign. It was a nudist sign! That was closely followed by the taking of some very tasteful pictures of us! Those pictures were taken by the most spectacular Mexican that lives on this Earth. His name is Esteban Carlos Ricardo Juan-Pablo Lee, but we call him Bizzle for short and Biz for slightly shorter. That night was one of the most magical nights of that week for me! Soon after the number of members in the Nudist Colony grew. I believe we made it up to about 35 members with a 2/1 girl to guy ratio, which as we all know is the good ratio. Especially in a nudist colony. Despite our best efforts we eventually had to move on the college. We were roommates with our good friend Travis Bowe at CSU in Russel West room 322 on the short hallway. That was an awesome year full of good times and beanbag chairs being thrown out of windows. In our sophomore year Alex and i again roomed together. Travis became an RA so we roomed with two guys named Kyle Thomas and Jameson Willey. Now you might be thinking to yourselves, " but Bobby, arent those two guys losers?" The answer is yes. But they are my losers. Moving on. After the first semester of our sophomore year Alex and his girlfriend (Tiffany Cartee) decided to transfer to CofC. This destroyed and mutilated my heart of hearts! I cried. Alex left behind the Nudist Colony, which in turn caused the losing of his essence and ness. He is now referred to as "The Fallen One." It has been so hard for me because Alex and have had so many experiences together. I will now post what we wrote each other for our birthdays in order to give you a taste of what all we have been through together.

I first wrote to Alex:
About 20 years and nine months ago, your parents were bumping uglies and conceived you! even though i wasnt born yet, that was an important day for me. without that day, you and i never would have precipissed off a cliff. We never would have created the phenomenal sensation that is "Bloody Sunday"! We never would have hit each other in the head with a frying pan while riding a unicycle. We never would have discovered that you are very good at climbing all over me. We never would have dated the same girl. We would have never made that tent in my living room out of chairs and blankets and then danced around my house in our underwear while listening to blink 182 and holding styrofoam heads when we were 17. We never would have made the worlds greatest potato gun that didnt actually shoot potatoes. We never would have attempted to burn ourselves with lye or try to launch ourselves off a speeding treadmill. Dont even get me started on the time in Morocco! Without that day i would have never been able to try to leave you in the Bolivian airport to get molested by that angry lady. We would have never been able to attach our belts and jump around in circles on the trampoline, which ultimately lead to the ripping of your belt. We never would have started the nudist colony.
Those are just a few of the thing that would have never happened without your parental units doing the dirty! All im trying to say is that i love you and Happy Day of Birth! You are a wonderful jerk.

Alex wrote to me:
February 14, 1988, aka "Valentines Day", Bob and Charlene Blaschke made a beautiful mistake. Nine months and 5 days later, that mistake escaped from the womb and went by the name of Robert James Blaschke. That mistake went on to guide me to the church bathroom because i had to poop and didnt know where it was, shortly after peeing off a cliff. Graduation night we went streaking on the turner field with the sprinklers on. We went camping in the mountains, and you put a freakin' hole in the tent while we were trying to throw the knife at the tree. That night it snowed. And we woke up to find all of our food eaten by the filthy squirrels. So we moved that tent to phils front yard. We used to film ourselves punching and slapping each other in the face. We fought for an hour straight in our old room and it ended in a draw because we were so sweaty and practically dead. We have watched every episode of scrubs together, and gotten so into it that we accidentally threw our belongings out of the 3rd floor window of our dorm. We peed in gatorade bottles on the way to NY city, not out of necessity, but out of dedication to driving non-stop. We ran 50 blocks in under half an hour on fourth of July 2007 so we could catch the last train home after watching the fireworks over the statue of liberty. We ran and slid on the rainy slippery hotel roof in Bolivia. You taught me that if a girl "puts her weight on my weight" it means she likes me. We've been best friends for almost seven years now. Happy birthday, you dirtbag, and I can't wait to find out what happens in the next seven years.

Since Alex has been at CofC he has turned gay, gained 100 pounds, started liking the Jonas Brothers, and has a fetish for all things lavender. He also died.

I still love the guy and i hope that some day he comes back to me. (even though he is dead)